Friday, September 21, 2012


The following piece was suggested by a prompt at Writing on Edge based on the game Clue.  Hope you enjoy it and as always I am famished for feedback. - JC


The ice cubes bob and clack like glass buoys in my bourbon.  The server was correct: Its smooth character does befit a fine Southern lady.    

Charles addresses the fur-laden harlot nestled against him: 

“I’m sorry dear but… Miss Scarlet… in the library… with a candlestick.”

The trollop is positively baffled.


“Not likely,” I inject.

“And why not?”

“I doubt Scarlet can read.”

“Excuse me?” says the offended.

“Perhaps she just wandered in?” he poses.

“Like a cat in heat?”  

“And stuck around.”

“The poor thing.  She can’t find the door?”   

“She is right here…”

“In the flesh,” I observe.

“In the library.”

“What are you two talking about?” fawns the feline.

“About how reading is overrated, darling.”

“Like many things.”

“Once you try them,” he opines.

“Really?” I ask; enjoying the moment:  “Already?”

“It was inevitable.”

“Though avoidable…” I chastise.

“I suppose,” he says. “But the damage is done.”

“Nothing is irreparable.”

“We can only hope.”  

“Are we going to play this game?” spouts the Siamese.

“That depends…” I begin.

“On which game you mean?”  He ends.

“Did I miss something?” complains the cat.

“More than something…” I suggest.

“Pretty much everything.”

“I think I’ll leave you two alone,” taunts the Tabby.

“That would be nice,” he states.

“Don’t bother calling.” She snaps, clawing her way out.

“I promise not to.”


“So nice to clear the air,” he says, refilling my glass.

“Yes,” I reply.  “Now we can get back to our game.”



  1. Yep. Ya got me. I didn't figure Miss Scarlet out until almost to the end. Your dialogue is great - very relaxed and realistic!

  2. This is such a tight piece of dialogue! Nicely done. It reminds me a bit of Dangerous Liaisons; you always feel just a bit bad for the pawn in a game between two people. I enjoyed the way you changed the "participant's" dialogue tag to different variations on the word cat.

  3. What an interesting piece! I had to read it twice to really get a handle on it, so much is going on. There are the "cat" tags, the heightened witty repartee between the gentleman, a first-person narration without internal dialogue... complicated, but enjoyable!

    I would say, I don't think I could read much more written in this style, but I do enjoy what I have read!

    -barbara @ de rebus

  4. I thought your opening lines did an amazing job in setting the scene as well as the irreverent tone to the whole piece. "The ice cubes bob and clack like glass buoys in my bourbon. The server was correct: Its smooth character does befit a fine Southern lady. " I may be biased being a bourdon drinker...

    I chose to read this as absurdist, and chose to make the cats actually part of the conversation vs imaged dialogue, though I felt that you could also read it the other way. It had a very heady Alice in Wonderland feel to it.

  5. I loved the witty repartee between your two main characters and the added interjections of the "cat". It was weirdly enjoyable :)

  6. I enjoyed that, loved the banter, but the dialogue tags confused me. I couldn't tell who was talking at times.

  7. I like the banter, quick and witty. But it was a little confusing.